I am a blog addict. No, more an internet reader. It is possibly the only reason I have a computer. I spend hours a day pouring over news, how-tos, pictures of lolcats and hipsters. It's kind of disgusting. The reason I am noticing now is that I have not pulled out my planner in three days. I know that all the pages will be blank for the entire day. Nothing from 10AM until 10PM. Absolutely. Empty. It definitely feels really weird. I just sit around. On the internet. Okay, no. With the internet. Reading. I read other books too, about stupid socialites in New York. But yeah, this is my break so far.

Things I Want to Do
Drive on the Freeway
Go to a museum
Ride my bike get food
Ride my bike to the park
Ride my bike
Watch one entire season of King of the Hill
Watch a Movie
Get Wisdom Teeth Pulled

I'll add more later.

I am such a majestic winner. I am everything that is amazing about me. I love myself.

http://www.kongregate.com/games/Ninjakiwi/bloons-tower-defense-2

I WIN!

Tonight it really hit me how I do need to take care of myself. Mondays tend to be my crazy days, but I guess I usually keep going. But today, damn it, today. My life feels so crazy right now. I feel sometimes (read: most times), people just take me as a given almost. That I'll be there, that I'll step up, that I'll send email, make posters, go to meetings, handle shit from admin, be mommy. I feel like I do my work, bits and parts and even the entire job of other people and damn. It really. Starts. To. Add. Up. I didn't get the fellowship I wanted. My mom's in the hospital. I have papers to write. My mom's in the fucking hospital. They are cleaning my apartment's carpet so I have to make sure everything is off the ground? My mom isn't well, and it scares me every minute. My family is everything to me, and it's just so damn hard. I can't even write anything, you know? I blew up at Jesse tonight. Sorry. You are me here and I am so sorry that I can't always be strong enough. Sometimes though, everything is a bit too much for one person to handle. I'm this big fat mess on her period. I'm trying and giving everything I've got. So I guess this is just me asking people to step up. I just wish I didn't feel bad asking people to do stuff. I don't know, worthless bitching I guess.

Anyways. Here is my bike! Not the bike I had before, baby mama drama rama behind me now..





It makes me happy! One of the few things. I need to start eating well again. Cooking. Reading. Watching bad TV with room mates. Listening to music that's soul purpose is not just to calm me down. Riding my bike with Ry Ro and co. Having space in my schedule that is labeled dinner with friends. Having space in my planner that isn't labeled as all. Damn. I'm just listing things I want and not thinking achievement! Okay. Good. Alright.

I'm too big for my new jeans. I guess it's another two weeks waiting for the mail. I'm shipping them to school this time, but wouldn't it suck so bad if they didn't come? Maybe I should ship them home..

Bike shopping tomorrow with my dad! I'm so excited to be living straight. My life of crime is behind me!

At home. I have work to do, but meh. I think I'm going to wash my sheets that I brought home to wash (saving me a hefty dollar fifty that I can put towards other crap!) and my bangs, and then watching Freedom Writers until I pass out. It's so cold!

My feet are freezing. I take my dad's big white socks when I am at home, because I leave my multi-colored small socks at school. I feel bad because I get the bottoms so dirty! I don't even know how? I am looking at the bottom of my feet and shaking my head because I lose face.

Yup. What's up? What kind of detergent do you use?

No more bike. These are somethings that I have found interesting today.

Yellow Face in Hollywood

http://www.asianweek.com/2007/11/28/the-25-most-infamous-yellow-face-film-performances-part-1/
Mitt Romney is an idiot.

I am currently watching most of the videos from the Republican CNN/Youtube debates. Can I just say how amazing youtube is? I mean, look at how it works. Man, mind-blowing. I am pretty interested in what the Republicans have to say though. Hmm.

We were waiting for pizza. I will introduce my new bike later.

I have done participated in much consumery of late! But really, I've invested in some quality things such as blush!! I really like blush a lot. It goes way back after eighth grade when I found that aZn was not such a good look for me. Or rather, I could not find a solid word that fit me (BbYbUmBlYbOoOpOoPoO is not that cute contrary to your very popular beliefs!). Anyways, I have never bought a nice blush. So I did!!! I tried or several different blushes, but since I knew that I wanted to go with a more grown up color instead of a bright sparkley pink (also because I have this great one already that I bought because Kate Moss was selling it, in the advert not to my face [WOMP WOMP]). Anyways, I like it a lot. Yes. WOW!

I am getting my camera soon. Substantial Posting!

Last weekend was also my birthday. I forgot to write about that! I am nineteen! That is all. But here are pictures of the cakes that I ate!!





Jake made the first one and Miss Amanda Terry made the second one! Okay, I have to run to APSA board meeting now!!



This is what I am eating right now. It is a turkey and cheese sandwich and I am drinking crappy tea that is still satisfying because it tastes like warm watered down juice!!!

Students Of Color Conference was pretty tight. Like Kevin Kwong said though, it wasn't as empowering as we hoped, but it challenged our consciousness and that cool.

I have an interview of the Helen Zia fellowship. RAD!!

Life is good. I'm so tired. I am healing all the time.

Really crappy day.
Feeling better playing with (Fluff) friends on facebook.
Thank's Peter Hall.